It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
whose ass print is on the piano?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
