I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i will never coherently bang her
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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