I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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