Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
