I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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