i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
