Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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