She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
