Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
