Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
