p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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