There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
