I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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