There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Sober January is a disaster.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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