what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
