I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
