Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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