forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
