did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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