I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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