i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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