omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
