Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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