idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think my moral compass just broke
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
