had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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