Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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