my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
