Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
