If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm sobbing to NWA
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
