How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The beer is more important than you right now.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
