quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
