Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
