Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
