Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
