he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
