Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
