Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
