I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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