This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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