I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
