he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
