I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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