I'm lost and stupid without you.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
