Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
