At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
