Grow some girl-balls and come out already
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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