some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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