i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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