we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
