I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
