The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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