and next time when you feel me up, do it right
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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