just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
