you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
