lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
