Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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